Friday, April 23, 2010

Changes... good and bad

I had to leave school this month. I had to leave my home in Vegas. I moved my family to California. I am staying with my HM (heart mother aka the woman who should have always been my mom). I am engaged (finally). I am happy, but most of all my family is happy.

I've had a hard time with finding reliable paying jobs in Vegas as was my fiancé. We looked and looked, and everything that came along just either didn't pay, or didn't pay well. We were two months behind in our rent, and fast running out of food to feed our children. I did what I had to do. I sold anything of real value, packed a few of our meager belongings, and we moved to where there was a job for my fiancé. California. We are currently staying with my mom (temporarily) and within in three days my fiancé found a job. A real one, not something commission based, he's training to be a trucker. He will be gone for weeks at a time, which will be hard on the kids and me, but it will make him close to 1500 a week, which will be good for us.

I had to leave school. Which makes me sad. I won't be able to go back until August, which makes me sadder. School was something I was really good at. But as I said, I'll be able to go back in August, that's when both my children will be full time in school.

I'm staying with my HM. Growing up I always believed that my Aunt was my biological mother and that my mom and dad kidnapped me or took me to help her out. Truth be told she was supposed to be my mom. My mother didn't want me and my HM had just lost the baby she was going to have. So my mom said she could have me. Everything was all set to go, but my father, in his infinite wisdom (yeah right) threatened my HM and told her that if she took me he would tell everyone she kidnapped me. For some god unkown reason, he believed a woman who hated me and a father who ignored me would do better raising me then my HM would. So, I got to grow up in the ultimate dysfunctional family instead of a happy home. I went to public school instead of private school. I took city transit rather than getting a car for my 16th birthday, and I was a high school drop-out rather than a college graduate. I struggled to learn how to survive and I think that is the one of the positives that has come from that ordeal. The others are my children and the love of my life.

After all that has gone on in the last few weeks, I am finally happy. But most importantly my family is happy. My kids love their Grandma and Grandpa, and like their new school. My fiancé has not been stressed out as much, and he is happy he has a real paying job that will make it easy for him to support his family the way he has always wanted to. So were there bad things, yes, we had to leave everything we knew and start over. But in my opinion the good outweighs the bad 100 to 1.

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