Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Family Ties are much too constricting

A couple weeks ago, my biological sister wrote about finding a hickie on her 16 year old's neck. She was panicking about what she should do. should she have "the talk" with her, should she get her started on birth control, or should she ignore it. I was completely honest in my opinion and told her is she hadn't had the talk with her yet, she'd better get it done, and that yes she should have her on birth control, especially since she posts some curious thoughts on her facebook page.

Well, apparently she didn't like the blunt honesty I gave her, or she doesn't care enough about her daughter to protect her (which she should have been doing all along anyways) either way, she never posted the comment, she removed me from her facebook page, had her daughter un-friend me, and then proceeded to write a snide comment about me on her next blog. The following is a direct quote:

"this is my place a place where i feel safe and yet there are those who care just enough about me to only be nosy. do i let them in, do i block them as followers. i don't believe in censorship. this is my blog. my place and i can delete any comment even if it comes from a family member."

I actually had stopped all relationships with said sister when she stole over $1500 from me to move back to KS because I refused to allow her to do drugs in my home around not only my infant son but her young daughter. My biological sister is in recovery for her addiction, but she has yet to make amends with me for her actions that caused me to lose my home all because I wouldn't let her do drugs. But, I gave her yet another chance to try to be a sister after my so-called mother died. you know what? Screw her and her recovery. I am the one person who will not let her make amends.

I spent years trying to get my family to care about me, and it was beyond obvious not a damn one of them did. The truth is, my mother told me on my 15th birthday she wished she had an abortion with me. She tried to give me up for adoption, but my father refused to sign the papers. And my "be-loved" aunt and oldest brother both informed me that I was the product of my father raping my mother. My brother's and sister's were always jealous that I got whatever I wanted (in worldly goods) when I asked for it, but do they know it took my mother dying of cancer after having a grand-mal seizure to tell me I love you for the first time in my entire LIFE?!?! I was 27 years old before she uttered those words, and you know what, too little too fucking late. She was making her amends before she died and had to stand in judgement before her maker and explain why her youngest child spent her life never knowing her mother's love.

My "sister" will never complete her program because she will never have made amends with me. She deserves all that she gets in life and I hope that her children may one day learn from her mistakes. But in the case of her oldest (who is heading down the same path) it looks as though she'll follow along in her mother's footsteps.

My "sister" also begged me to keep quiet about the fact that her oldest daughter's father tried to rape me at the age of 12, because had I told my Oldest brother (who was in the Navy at the time) he would have killed her true love. And then she proceeded to get me drunk so that she could say I was making it all up in my head. Yet another thing she never made amends for. And guess what? Her "true" love ended up beating her on a regular basis till she had to run away from him. He's also the reason she's a fucking addict.

As for my other siblings, let's see my other brother (not the navy one) raped me at age 13, while my mother slept in the next room. but he's manic-depressive... oh wait i meant bi-polar.... ooops nope now it's manic depressive again. He was also convicted of child molestation at the age of 16. Supposed to be registering as a sex-offender and is not allowed around children, but guess what, he's around my drug addict sister two little ones all the time. Does her hubby know this?

My other sister should be on medication cause she's all fucked up in the head too. She also has seven children from five different father's. and she lies to the first two saying they have the same dad. It's sad really. She thinks nobody sees what a slut she was, but it's not true. and she illegally has custody of one because she moved out of the state of California, married her husband in Nevada and moved to KS so she wouldn't have to pretend to the state of California to not illegally be living with her son. She lost custody of her kids because she was a slob, and unfit mother, and fucked up in the head. Her youngest daughter was put in a full body cast at the age of 5 months by her biological father (my sister's first husband) and they tried to blame it on me. If it wasn't for the fact that I was at work and had the proof of that I would have gone to jail. This sister also owes me money which I will never see. When her first husband got deported to mexico she ran up my phone bill every month to 300- 600 dollars. she never paid her half of the rent that she was supposed to pay for 7 months at $700 a month (half of our rent) that's $4900 she owed in rent alone. She never cleaned up after herself so when my boyfriend and I moved out of the apartment he had to pay $2900 in damages to room she and her family lived in.

The people I consider family aren't even blood related. I am also homeless, and I have people who don't even know me who have given help to my family hand over fist when my own "family" won't do anything to help me. My father always told me that my family would always be there for me while I was growing up, that's why whenever they asked for my help I should give it to them, because one day I would need them and they would return the favour. To date my sister Suzie owes $1450 (she sent me $50 last year to help me out) my sister candy owes me well over $10,000 (she and my brother used to ask me for rent money every two weeks after my parents moved to Kansas), my brother Larry owes me my virginity, innocence, and around $10,000 for when he emptied our joint checking account when I was 18 and saving up for a car, and he ran off to LA and was out of work. He "claims" it was his money, but it wasn't. He stole my ID and gave it to one of his girlfriends to close out our account with my money in it. Trust me I've learned my lesson.

I can count on one hand the number of times my "family" has helped me out, I would need a calculator to add up all the strangers, friends, co-workers, even bosses who have been there for me in my time of need. To those of you who have no blood/DNA connection to me who have been there for me and continue to give me your moral support I thank you. To you leeches who screwed me over time and time again and have the audacity to call yourselves my "family" fuck off. Don't call me, don't email me, don't even think about me. We're finally done with one another... I am done with you so I don't care if you're done with me. You are all just a waste of the oxygen on our planet.